Be Obsessed or Be Average Summary

Be Obsessed or Be Average SummaryIt is time that you choose.

“Be Obsessed or Be Average.”

About Grant Cardone

Grant CardoneGrant Cardone is a bestselling author and a multi-millionaire entrepreneur.

“Be Obsessed or Be Average Summary”

If you are like most people, you grew up knowing that what follows in your life is a job, a family, years of hard work, and an excellent retirement package at the end of it all, which would enable you to leave your last years peacefully.

In fact, you may have been taught to strive to achieve that level of “comfort.”

However, the way society teaches you to live does not to be the way you actually live.

Two things prevent you from achieving everything you ever dreamed of: fear of failure and lack of ambition.

But there is a way out of this loop: you need to become obsessed with your passions and learn how to use your fears to your advantage.

Whenever you feel like you are on the verge of exhaustion, you can choose whether you take some time off, or become obsessed with your passions.

Contrary to what many people believe, obsession does not lead to an imbalanced life – but it is rather the key to finding the balance you have spent your life searching for.

This may get much clearer as you understand that a balanced life does not mean having time to relax.

A balanced life is having a good family life and health while having the money and career you wish for.

To achieve happiness in all fields, you need to work hard each moment of every day, and to be able to handle it, you have to be burning with passion.

And that passion is fueled by obsession.

Passionately obsessed people do not work to retire and have “comfort” and plenty of time to relax.

Instead, the goals they set for themselves are those that fill them with satisfaction, and they are excited to wake up every morning.

To keep the excitement high, you always need to push yourself to achieve more. In other words, you should not rest, and once you satisfy your passion, you need to find another, bigger goal to achieve.

Challenging yourself is the way to having a life full of excitement and joy.

Make a step. Reach further.

Key Lessons from “Be Obsessed or Be Average”

1.      You Cannot Predict the Future
2.      The Advantage of Being First
3.      The Two Faces of Fear

You Cannot Predict the Future

No one is able to predict what will happen in the future. That is why you cannot know for sure how you will succeed in your career. What you can do, however, is to push yourself more than you believe is possible, and work hard to deliver.

The Advantage of Being First

Usually being perfect is not as important as being first.

Start now. Do not strive to reach perfection, since it is unreachable.

Instead, just dive in, and don’t worry, you will learn how to swim as you go.

The Two Faces of Fear

We all have two fears inside of us: fear of failure and fear of rejection.

However, if you want to succeed you have to face them and stop them from limiting your success.

Feeling afraid means that you are doing something different, that you are pushing yourself, and that you are not letting yourself get stuck in your comfort zone.

So bless your fears instead of condemning them: they bring you good news.

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“Be Obsessed or Be Average” Quotes

True domination and true obsession, starts with dominating yourself, not others. Click To Tweet Success is your duty, obligation, and responsibility. Click To Tweet What you have done is nothing compared to what you can do. Click To Tweet Leaving your comfort zone is hard. Staying broke is hard. Pick your hard. Click To Tweet Comfort makes more prisoners than all the jails combined. Click To Tweet

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The 4 Disciplines of Execution Summary

The 4 Disciplines of Execution SummaryAchieving Your Wildly Important Goals

A strategy is worth nothing if it doesn’t get executed.

Learn “The 4 Disciplines of Execution” and success will follow.

About Chris McChesney, Sean Covey, Jim Huling

Chris McChesneyChris McChesney and Jim Huling lead FranklinCovey, a company that guides people to improve their performance.

Sean Covey is an author, publishing executive and speaker.

“The 4 Disciplines of Execution Summary”

Ever New Year we write up a full list of resolutions to change our habits and lives.

The first few weeks after we decide to change our life, we are enthusiastic and motivated and even do a few small steps toward making our resolution come true.

However, as days go by, our enthusiasm wears off, and we go back to our old habits and behaviors.

Why is that the case?

Because people find execution hard.

The same goes for companies as well.

Having a strategy is not enough – without executing it, nothing changes.

So, what can you do to improve your execution and reach the place you wish to see yourself at?

First, you need to start focusing only on those things that matter.

We get it: you want to do more, but the more you overburden yourself, the less energy you will have to focus on vital tasks.

So, make a list of priorities and focus on one or two WIGs (Wildly Important Goals). When you create this list, be as specific as possible.

Now once you do this, you need to shift your focus from measures that help you achieve your goals, instead of measures that put you down when you do not.

Do not focus on past experiences and lag measures – instead, concentrate on lead measures which are an image of current behavior.

Focusing on the present is important since you can influence it to achieve your objectives.

The third discipline is keeping score of your employees’ performance. Keeping score will motivate your staff since it will create a game-like atmosphere, in which all people will want to win.

Lastly, nothing of what we mentioned above will bring long-lasting change if your employees do not commit to the goals you want to achieve.

To make this happen, make sure they are not accountable just to you, but to their colleagues too.

Hold WIG meetings to keep the progress in check.

Key Lessons from “The 4 Disciplines of Execution”

1.      Change is Good
2.      Become Aware of the Whirlwind
3.      Four Steps to Introducing the Four Disciplines to Your Company

Change is Good

A change will push you forward. Growing is essential.

But what you should strive for is not using quick fix actions with which you find someone else to do the job for you, but to change your behavior so you can create lasting change.

Become Aware of the Whirlwind

Whirlwind is a term used to define all daily tasks that drain your time and creativity.  Whirlwind is the most significant enemy of change.

However, despite the whirlwind, by mastering the four disciplines of execution, you will be able to achieve big strategic objectives.

Four Steps to Introducing the Four Disciplines to Your Company

  • Gather many ideas.
  • Rank the ideas you came up with.
  • Test your ideas.
  • Come up with a clear and simple definition of your goal.



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“The 4 Disciplines of Execution” Quotes

If you are not keeping score, you’re just practicing. Click To Tweet If you ignore the urgent, it can kill you today. It’s also true, however, that if you ignore the important, it can kill you tomorrow. Click To Tweet You might find it hard to let go of a lot of good goals until you start serving a greater goal. Click To Tweet Once you’ve decided what to do, your biggest challenge is in getting people to execute. Click To Tweet Focusing on the wildly important means narrowing the number of goals you are attempting to accomplish. Click To Tweet

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Ziglar on Selling Summary

Ziglar on Selling SummaryThe Ultimate Handbook for the Complete Sales Professional

Even if your career doesn’t explode in a matter of years, don’t feel discouraged. Many sales superstars had humble beginnings, and that’s precisely what “Ziglar on Selling” clarifies.

About Zig Ziglar

Zig ZiglarZig Ziglar was a sales expert and the author of many bestsellers such as Secrets of Closing the Sale, Selling 101, See you At the Top, etc.

“Ziglar on Selling Summary”

Ziglar’s rule that every salesperson should follow is “Don’t Be Afraid of Rejection.” In 1947, he had his first sales encounter with an old lady. After he knocked on the door, Zig Ziglar wasn’t expecting a positive response, but that’s how it all started.

The Father of sales emphasizes several elements that constitute the road to success. In all of his books, Zig pinpoints the real value and underlines many misleading theories that are responsible for failures. For instance, in a race against time, salespeople take profits or closing in for sale – as the most vital aspect of doing business.

In reality, finding prospects, presenting your ideas and making good first impressions is essential and fundamental. Without well-defined target audience and IBP (ideal buying persona), not even the greatest salesman can cut ice.

Until you find the ideal customer, you can say goodbye to all strategies and ideas. Prospecting is the alpha and omega in sales, and every expert is aware of this reality. Think of it this way, absent prospects all the talks and deals mean absolutely nothing.

Reading the minds of the customers and giving the people a sense of freedom to decide what is right for them – is what makes a competent sales team. Successful salespersons are not persuaders nor influencers, they fall into “I love my job” category, and the profits come only as a result of such commitment and passion.

Are you reluctant to make the first step? Do you hesitate to pick up the phone? Such tendencies are normal for beginners, but it’s not something that you should build up your career on. Stay direct and confident, is it too hard to simply say “Do you like our goods”? You’ve got nothing to lose.

You should not feel guilty if at some point you also suffer from a call-reluctance “disease.” Just remember, such attitude will reduce not only your profits but your influence in the market as well. Overcome this weakness by staying true to what you believe in.

Good salespeople don’t want to scare people off. With this in mind, they’ve developed a routine to ask the right questions and anticipate the answers. Sometimes this inquiry is nothing but a decoy; testing the preferences of the prospect.  

Key Lessons from “Ziglar on Selling”

1.      Be flexible, don’t stick to one method
2.      Embrace objections and their meaning
3.      Develop into the right person for the job

Be flexible, don’t stick to one method

There are endless approaches that are equally effective when it comes to closing a sale. There are two particularly useful ones that you ought to take into consideration:

The Probability Close – is choosing the right question, after the presentation.

The Summary Close – After you presented the details of your product, simply go back to clarify the elements that your prospect expressed interest in.

Embrace objections and their meaning

Truly, no one wants to receive complaints and handle new, unnecessary paperwork due to unfulfilled promises.

However, look at it this way – objections indicate that someone is interested in your services.

Develop into the right person for the job

Your aura radiates the energy of your heart and being. Becoming a salesperson of high stature is a tricky business. In general, you must live up to the expectations of those requiring your services.

Clothing, behavior, family all of these aspects ignite or hinder your influence as an independent salesperson.

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“Ziglar on Selling” Quotes

You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want. Click To Tweet If extras are in the best interests of your clients, you certainly have a professional responsibility to offer them and encourage your prospects to act upon them. Click To Tweet Your role is to become an assistant buyer and help the prospects make the purchase – not to make them feel you have just sold them. Click To Tweet You are thinking prospecting all the time, and when you do, it’s amazing how potential buyers will pop up in the most unlikely places. Click To Tweet You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want! Click To Tweet

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Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe Summary

Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe SummaryWhat describes a one-of-a-kind leader? The incentive to guard against any external factors that may jeopardize the stability of the company and as a result put the employees in a difficult position.

About Simon Sinek

Simon SinekSimon Sinek is the author of “Start With Why” and “Leaders Eat Last”; and he is also a non-profit consultant.

“Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe Summary”

When there is a threatening situation, out of instinct, people tend to adopt new ideas that apply to the rules. Sometimes these concepts are converted into devices, developed to enforce the rigidness of the system.

As an illustration, Simon shows this example – One day, a gate agent at the airport prevented a passenger from climbing on board too early.

The agent on numerous occasions explained its reaction: “If I don’t follow the rules, I could get fired or endanger my position.” Perhaps, such similar situation would not have raised the roof in other company that stimulates the employees to stick to the agenda without any exceptions.

Southwest Airlines, among them, is a firm whose roots are deeply connected to certain norms, which don’t endanger the efficiency and productivity.

If you want to keep a safe distance from corruption; show your unconditional support towards the employees. With the wind in their backs, they will improve the cooperation with the rest of the group, a mentality that elevates the company to the next level. Great leaders foster the employees to become moral and ethical individuals, a line that overlaps good parenting.

Protecting your employees’ interest is a responsibility for every CEO. However, many subordinates feel the injustice deriving from the disproportionately divided salaries. The art of betrayal is typical for many leaders, but it doesn’t serve the company’s long-term interests because it arouses a sense of deception and reduces productivity.

Unlike some of his fellow colleagues, CEO Bob Chapman refused to fire some of the employees due to the crisis that struck the world economy and inflicted a recession in 2008. As a response, he enforced the well-known four-week furlough program.

Instead of laying off only a small group of workers, he spread the stress and financial stroke evenly, at the expense of all members including the management.

We don’t know if you concur that real form of leadership can only be tested in times of crisis or not. Bob got more than he had ever bargained for, the employees with an intention to help those who could not afford any unpaid absence, swapped personal gain for compassion and friendship.

Evidently, rank and status don’t collide with leadership. Your authority grants you the right but not the command if you lack the ethical skills. Real leaders must exist at all layers, for the purpose of providing good care for their fellow colleagues.

Making sacrifices for improving the well-being and stability of others is a trait that is a rarity in today’s world. Nonetheless, leaders who put their people’s satisfaction first, deservedly hold the primacy – of true moral managers and decision-makers.

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“Why Good Leaders Make You Feel Safe” Quotes

If you hire people just because they can do a job, they’ll work for your money. But if you hire people who believe what you believe, they’ll work for you with blood and sweat and tears. Click To Tweet You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him. Click To Tweet If the conditions are wrong, we are forced to expend our own time and energy to protect ourselves from each other. When we feel safe inside the organization, we will naturally combine our talents and our strengths and work tirelessly to… Click To Tweet

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Trauma and Recovery Summary

Trauma and Recovery SummaryThe Aftermath of Violence – From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

Trauma and Recovery” is an eye-opening book that put in plain English, what we must do to confront the bullies and reduce their influence in this world.

About Judith Herman

Judith HermanDespite being an author, Judith Lewis Herman, teaches clinical psychiatry at Harvard University.

“Trauma and Recovery Summary”

Traumatic experiences can have a different impact depending on the person’s character. You can either be completely terrified or experience some internal shift. Judith Herman driven by revolutionary ideas investigates how trauma endangers our way of life and influence the human psyche, regardless of its origins.

The author is mainly inspired by the feminist standpoint and examines the collision between agony and momentary shock. The 70s are considered to be the worst years of unrest attributed to domestic abuse, rape, workplace abuse of power, and illegal activities to quiet down those preparing a response.  

Making split-second decisions is in our blood. Rushing to solve the issue without taking into account many other factors is an impulse rising from anger and insecurity. Finding a motive to subdue this instinct is like playing in dangerous territory. Humans are prone to react to defend their position and to preserve the order.

When trauma attacks and seriously threatens a person’s self-defense instinct, it triggers a posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The symptoms are categorized into three main classes:

  1. Hyperarousal” – Traumatized people are constantly on alert for anything suspicious.

Symptoms include sleep disorder, never-ending suspicion, mood swings, irrational behavior, depression, anxiety, etc.

  1. Intrusion” – In truth, the PTSD forms a defensive mechanism after the traumatic event, which keeps the victim on the lookout for any hidden danger.

The trauma is transforming from periodical to absolute, always fixated in their heads and that includes both sleeping and daytime periods.

  1. Constriction” – Some victims even experience a shift in consciousness due to the dangerous situation that prompts them to be on full alert.

The symptoms of this restricted state include a sense of insecurity, damaged orientation, mood swings, passivity, unwillingness to admit the problem.

In order to recover, the captives must acknowledge the situation and accept treatment. Understanding what they’ve been through is only stage one.

The recovery process must be fueled with real care and supervision of those who are in need of protection.

Key Lessons from “Trauma and Recovery

1.      Various forms of control and dominance
2.      Contribute to eradicate this mindset
3.      The recovery is never easy

Various forms of control and dominance

Keeping the victim status is vital so that the captive will more easily accept the repeated abuses. Throughout history especially in war camps, people testified about monstrous forms of torture.

Captivity is also illustrated through religious obedience and lack of freedom.  

Contribute to eradicate this mindset

We must instigate a complete dissolution of these prison systems. You don’t need bars to realize that your voice will never be heard – a situation well-known to many women throughout the globe.

Domestic abuse continues to increase, “keeping the victims isolated with no connections to the rest of the world” is the primary weapon.  

The recovery is never easy

When you lose all the trust, it’s hard to regain it. People in charge of providing unconditional support and compassion to the victims note that sometimes it’s virtually impossible to recover fully.

Some events will leave a mark, and the main thing is to prevent any suicide attempts.

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“Trauma and Recovery” Quotes

Helplessness and isolation are the core experiences of psychological trauma. Empowerment and reconnection are the core experiences of recovery. Click To Tweet The survivor who has accomplished her recovery faces life with few illusions but often with gratitude. Click To Tweet The psychological distress symptoms of traumatized people simultaneously call attention to the existence of an unspeakable secret and deflect attention from it. Click To Tweet Psychological trauma is an affliction of the powerless. Click To Tweet Traumatic events call into question basic human relationships. Click To Tweet

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She Comes First Summary

She Comes First SummaryThe Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

The title of this book, “She Comes First” is a pun. Now look back at the title and read the subtitle once again: “The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.”

Yes, that’s exactly what Ian Kerner’s book is all about.

About Ian Kerner

Ian KernerIan Kerner, PhD, is an American author and sex counsellor. He specializes in couples’ therapy and sex therapy but works with individuals on a regular basis as well. He is a frequent guest on popular TV shows such as “The Today Show” and “The Dr. Oz Show.”

Kerner is also the founder of

“She Comes First Summary”

When it was published in 2004, “She Comes First” was selected as one of the Best books of 2004 by Amazon editors. Much more importantly, it was called “the Encyclopaedia Britannica of the clitoris” in a “New York Times” review.

Written by Amy Sohn. Who, in case you don’t know, is a great columnist and a well-received author of erotic novels. And – in this case, even more importantly – a woman!

So, if you are a thinking man and a heterosexual – or a thinking homosexual woman – you better listen!

Because, unfortunately for women, as James Brown sang, “It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World”. Which, translated in the language of sex, means much more pleasure for men than for women.

Just take, for example, the very act of sex! Men get almost all pleasure from penetration, but women can do better off without it. Penetration, in fact, will almost never lead to female orgasm.

What will – is cunnilingus.

You can shout about it all you want, but the science backs this up. The clitoris is three times more sensitive than the vaginal wall, and women who suffer from vaginal agenesis (i.e. closed vagina) can also experience orgasm.

To cut the long story short: focus on the act of oral stimulation.

And in order to do that, you need to learn two things.

First: the highly complex anatomy of the clitoris. Which has 8,000 nerve fibers and up to ten different parts. These are: the head, the G-spot, the public mound, the front commissure, the frenulum, the inner lips, the vaginal entrance, the fourchette, the perineum, and the anus.

And second: the three acts of the drama that is female sexual arousal!

Act 1: foreplay.

The point at this stage is, obviously, to build the sexual tension. And in order to do that, you need to spend at least 10 to 15 minutes not even thinking about a female’s genitals. Because once you kiss the vulva – the second act has started and there’s no turning back.

Kerner calls Act 2: coreplay.

It’s the act itself – and it’s better than sex.

Act 2 should be uninterrupted even though it consists of six stages. The first one is all about establishing a rhythm. The second one means giving your woman “five vertical halfway licks” before giving her a long one which includes the clitoris head. At this stage, insert a finger in her vaginal entrance. Then, start focusing more on the head by adding a horizontal lick over it. That’s stage three.

Stage four begins once you start pressing the head for five seconds after each cycle and start including a second finger. Stage five is the pre-orgasm period. Which is a preparation for stage six – when it’s best to hold your woman’s body in place so as to help her feel a more powerful orgasm.

Finally, Act 3: moreplay.

This is where you either kiss and cuddle – or have a sexual penetrative intercourse. It’s easier once the female has experienced the first orgasm – and may lead to more and more pleasure.

Key Lessons from “She Comes First”

1.      For Women – Cunnilingus Is Better Than Sex
2.      Female Sexual Arousal Is a Three Stage Process
3.      Never Forget These Three Assurances

For Women – Cunnilingus Is Better Than Sex

If you think that size matters – you can’t be further from the truth! Not just size – penetration doesn’t matter either as far as women are concerned. Science says that female orgasm is something which happens only after clitoral stimulation.

And penetration does that rarely and, even then – ineffectively.

Female Sexual Arousal Is a Three Stage Process

So, if you’re a heterosexual man, revolutionize the way you think about sex! The goal of it is not to have a sex with your partner, but to make her needs come first.

In other words, think of having sex as something which doesn’t include penetration for at least the first 45 minutes. What it does – is three stages: foreplay, coreplay, and moreplay.

The first one you know well. The second one is the cunnilingus and it’s a six-stage procedure. The last one follows the female orgasm. And is the only stage where intercourse comes in question.

Never Forget These Three Assurances

Of course, this makes sex much more pleasurable for women than men. But, why not? The opposite has been true for all of history.

And if you want to change that, you’ll need to take into consideration three assurances.

First of all, remember that by delaying intercourse, you receive pleasure as well. Secondly, that you have been the one receiving the pleasure for most of the time. Now give her both the time she needs and the pleasure she craves for. Finally, don’t be picky: savor her scent and taste!

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“She Comes First” Quotes

A woman’s time would be better spent on Kegel exercises and the strengthening of the pelvic floor muscles—an exercise known to increase the quality of orgasmic contractions. Click To Tweet One should not make more assumptions than are absolutely necessary. Click To Tweet Twice as many women who went to college have given or received oral sex as compared to those who did not finish high school and twice as many of those better-educated women had or received oral sex the last time they had sex. Click To Tweet For those with a taste for poetry, try Les Fleurs du Mal (Flowers of Evil) by Charles Baudelaire or Flesh Unlimited by Guillaume Apollinaire. Click To Tweet Harold Brodkey’s sexual saga ‘Innocence’ is perhaps the greatest depiction of a session of cunnilingus ever penned. Click To Tweet

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Irresistible Summary

Irresistible SummaryThe Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked

Have you ever wondered why are you currently reading this on your PC, laptop, tablet or smartphone? Adam Adler says that the answer to this question is pretty obvious. Technology is simply “Irresistible.”

But, is that good?

About Adam Alter

Adam AlterAdam Alter is an American marketing consultant and author, dedicated to “exploring the roots of our tech addiction.” He is also a teacher at the New York University Stern School of Business. So far he has written one more book in addition to “Irresistible”: “Drunk Tank Pink.”

“Irresistible Summary”

The best way to recommend a good book?

By telling the reader how good that book is considered by authors of some undeniably great books.

In the case of Adam Alter’s “Irresistible” we believe that we can’t skip over at least two recommendations: Adam Grant’s and Malcolm Gladwell’s.

Because, for one thing, you don’t need an introduction for either of them.

For Adam Grant, “Irresistible” is “one of the most mesmerizing and important books [he has] read in quite some time.” Because, in it, “Alter brilliantly illuminates the new obsessions that are controlling our lives and offers the tools we need to rescue our businesses, our families, and our sanity.”

Malcolm Gladwell is even more succinct: “’Irresistible’ is a fascinating and much needed exploration of one of the most troubling phenomena of modern times.”

And we can promise you one thing: you won’t look at tech addiction as something innocuous ever again.

Because it’s very real and it’s very scary. Even though you don’t notice it, you spend about three hours every day looking at your phone. Which you peak up about 40 times a day for no reason at all!

So the real question isn’t if smartphones are destroying our generation. It is: how can we stop them?

Well, a good start is understanding what addiction actually is. Interestingly enough, as James Olds discovered while experimenting with rats, its antonym isn’t “sobriety,” but “connection.” Or, to strip it down to bare basics, you’ll not be addicted to anything – if you have loving friends and a partner.

Tech addiction is similar to drug addiction – but it’s not the same. That’s because it stimulates the same areas as heroin and releases dopamine, but it doesn’t have the same effects. And it can be kicked out of life in an easier manner!

You need a starting point?

Look no further than your bed. Revolutionize your sleep habits!

Once you do that, disable email notifications; and still check your mail much less regularly. It will have a positive effect both on your productivity and health!

Next – and this is a fairly difficult thing to do – limit the time you spend on Facebook. And completely ignore the “Like” button! Because, you see, it’s a trick – it makes every post a gamble (in terms of whether you’ll receive a like or not) and that releases dopamine which makes you a like-addict.

Whether you like it or not.

However, it’s a risky ordeal to repress an addiction. It usually makes it worse.

As anyone who has ever tried quitting smoking or drugs has realized in the end, a much better strategy is substitution.

Create a new habit.

And Alter says that there’s a great book to teach you how you can do that.

Key Lessons from “Irresistible”

1.      Facebook’s “Like” Button Turns You into a Zeiler Pigeon
2.      Don’t Work Yourself to Death
3.      Save the Children – They Are Innocent

Facebook’s “Like” Button Turns You into a Zeiler Pigeon

In the 1970s, Michael Zeiler experimented with pigeons by rewarding them after they clicked a button. In the beginning, he gave them food every time they pressed the button. Afterward, he gave them only in 50 to 70 percent of the cases.

The pigeons started pressing the button more regularly in the second case!

The same happens with gamblers – and with you in view of Facebook’s “Like” button. You post more on Facebook in hope that every next post will get more likes.

Stop doing that: it’s a trick!

Don’t Work Yourself to Death

One of capitalism’s greatest tricks: making you believe that there’s always some work left to be done.

Even so – it’s not yours to finish it. Unfortunately, modern technology has given us opportunities to finish some tasks much faster. Does it ring a bell: “just to send one more email, just to make one more Excel table…”

Tech addiction creates “workaholics.” And the title is no joke. It’s a real thing, especially in Asia. In fact, the Japanese, the Chinese, and the South Koreans have words for it.

It’s that bad.

Save the Children – They Are Innocent

Whatever you do, protect your children from technology as long as you can. Putting a limit to the time they spend in front of televisions and computers is one of the greatest things you can do.

Playing with them instead – is even better.

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“Irresistible” Quotes

It seemed as if the people producing tech products were following the cardinal rule of drug dealing: never get high on your own supply. Click To Tweet

In 2008, adults spent an average of eighteen minutes on their phones per day; in 2015, they were spending two hours and forty-eight minutes per day Click To Tweet.

Tech devices are distracting because they remind us of the world beyond the immediate conversation Click To Tweet In 2000, Microsoft Canada reported that the average human had an attention span of twelve seconds; by 2013 that number had fallen to eight seconds. Click To Tweet It isn’t the body falling in unrequited love with a dangerous drug, but rather the mind learning to associate any substance or behavior with relief from psychological pain. Click To Tweet

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How to Raise an Adult Summary

How to Raise an Adult SummaryBreak Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success

There’s parenting and then there’s overparenting. Unfortunately, the boundary between them is too narrow. In “How to Raise an Adult,” Julie Lythcott-Haims tries to differentiate between them, while keeping you on the safe side of the border.

About Julie Lythcott-Haims

Julie Lythcott-HaimsJulie Lythcott-Haims is an American author. She was Stanford University’s Dean of Freshmen and Undergraduate Advising and holds an MFA in writing from California College of the Arts. She has written one more book in addition to “How to Raise an Adult” – “Real American.”


“How to Raise an Adult Summary”

In 1981, six-year-old Adam Walsh was abducted and murdered by serial killer Ottis Toole. The story was turned into a 1983 made-for-TV movie, after which, according to Julie Lythcott-Haims, parenting took a completely wrong turn.

And in “How to Raise an Adult” she explains how you can steer yourself back in the right direction.

The problem has a name: “helicopter parenting” or “overparenting.” In other words, parenting that’s not about preparing your children for life but protecting them from it.

This is the wrong strategy. Because, if parents think that something is good for their children, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is.

And because in parenting, “too much of a good thing” is actually a bad thing.”

Overparenting starts with something very innocuous: shielding your child from your own struggles. You think that it’s helpful for him not to learn that you’re, at least once a day nervous and unhappy, or that you’re taking pills for your depression.

What this results in, however, is creating unrealistic expectations for your child. When he or she inevitably comes across the problems you had to deal with, he/she will feel that the burden is twice as heavy. Because, now, the child will believe that it has not lived up to the expectations.

And will want to suffer alone.

And that’s how things such as addiction and suicide occur.

But, also, how a generation of incapable employees is created. Because, you see, if you overparent your child, then the young man or woman he/she will become will think of his/her boss as a new parent.

So, what should you do instead?

First of all, be an authoritative parent. That’s one of the four styles of parenting – and the only one which makes sense. Authoritarian parents are strict and unreasonable; permissive parents allow too much; neglectful parents are not really parents; authoritative parents, finally, are demanding, but also responsive.

And are role models.

One of the things they are especially aware of is playtime – something necessary in the adult world as well. Playing with your children is as important as teaching them important skills and participating in critical reexaminations with them.

However, since life is a game too, you’ll have to allow your children to play a lot by their own rules. In other words, talk to them and understand what they want out of life. Afterward, discuss it through from all perspectives, irrespective of the one you think is right.

That way, both your children and yourself will earn the necessary amount of freedom.

Which is the core value of good parenting.

Key Lessons from “How to Raise an Adult”

1.      Helicopter Parenting Is a Thing – and a Really Bad Thing, In Fact
2.      There Are Four Types of Parenting – and Only One of Them Is Good
3.      Play with Your Children – But Make Some Space for Yourself as Well

Helicopter Parenting Is a Thing – and a Really Bad Thing, In Fact

Helicopter parenting – or “cosseting parenting” or “overparenting” – is a type of parenting based on the idea that a child is best raised if sheltered from harmful influences. In theory, it may seem nice, but in practice, it means children not prepared for life, but protected from it.

There Are Four Types of Parenting – and Only One of Them Is Good

There are four types of parenting.

Authoritarian parenting is demanding and unresponsive. Permissive parenting is undemanding and responsive. Neglectful parenting is undemanding and unresponsive. Finally, authoritative parenting is demanding and responsive.

Of course, you need to practice the last one, a combination of the best aspects of authoritarian and permissive parenting. Or, in other words: be strict, but give reasons for your strictness, and listen back/take into consideration arguments against it.

Play with Your Children – But Make Some Space for Yourself as Well

Most of the animals learn how to behave through play. Why should humans be any different?

In fact, they are not!

Or, in other words, games are good for your children. Especially, if you play them with him or her. Because, you need to be a role model.

Speaking of which – you need to be independent and stop living your life merely because of and for your children! They will learn more from you if you sometimes take a stand and pursue your own interests.

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“How to Raise an Adult” Quotes

Why did parenting change from preparing our kids for life to protecting them from life, which means they’re not prepared to live life on their own? Click To Tweet Not only does overparenting hurt our children; it harms us, too. Parents today are scared, not to mention exhausted, anxious, and depressed. Click To Tweet Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent. (via Carl Jung) Click To Tweet Resilience is built from real hardship and cannot be bought or manufactured. Click To Tweet Happiness and self-confidence can be the by-products of other things, but they cannot really be goals unto themselves. Click To Tweet

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Homo Deus Summary

Homo Deus Summary

A Brief History of Tomorrow

In “Sapiens” we read Yuval Noah Harari’s history of humanity’s yesterdays. It was only a matter of time before we embarked on a journey through the history of humanity’s tomorrows.

Ladies and gentlemen: “Homo Deus”.

About Yuval Noah Harari

Yuval Noah HarariYuval Noah Harari is an Israeli professor of history at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem. He has published five books but earned his stellar reputation only after the fourth one: “Sapiens”. “Homo Deus” was his next, and, so far, last book.

“Homo Deus Summary”

When Harari’s “Sapiens” first appeared, the book rose “explosively to the ranks of an international bestseller.” The man who wrote the last part of the last sentence is none other than Jared Diamond, the author of “Why Is Sex Fun?” and one of the smartest people alive.

Diamond also went on to explain the reasons why: “it tackles the biggest questions of history and of the modern world, and it is written in unforgettably vivid language.”

The very same thing can be said for “Homo Deus”, the companion volume of “Sapiens.” And, in fact, it has been said by many people, one of them of Jared Diamond’s rank. We’re talking about Nobel-Prize winner and “Thinking, Fast and Slow” author Daniel Kahneman.

His words?

“’Homo Deus’ will shock you. It will entertain you. Above all, it will make you think in ways you had not thought before.”

And when Diamond and Kahneman say that something is worth reading – then the rest of us should have no other option but to read it.

While “Homo Deus” is the tomorrow to “Sapiens” yesterday, it’s in many ways all about what is already happening today. And what is becoming – as Kevin Kelly would say – more and more inevitable.

The book itself is divided in three parts, prefaced by one introductory chapter.

The latter one – titled “The New Human Agenda” – aims to understand what is next on humanity’s agenda. A good question as any, especially in view of some of the statistics which Harari makes known.

For example, did you know that, nowadays, for the first time in history, you’re more likely to commit a suicide than to be killed in a bloody conflict? Or to die of obesity rather than famine?

Even diseases are not as serious as you think they are: the Ebola crisis resulted in no more than 11,000 deaths! Compare that to the Black Death pandemic and about 200 million people killed during the 1330s!

In other words: we’ve come far! And we are finally free to think about some things people before us couldn’t even have dreamt about! Yes, we’re talking about things such as immortality, space colonies, omniscience!

Or, to put it as succinctly as possible: becoming Gods!

But, how did we get to there?

Well, the first two-chaptered section of “Homo Deus” is titled “Homo Sapiens conquers the world” and it mainly deals with how a single animal species managed to become “the most powerful species in the world.”

In short, it’s not because humans are inherently more capable than animals; it’s because they cooperated on enormous scales.

And that was made possible through the use of something Harari names “intersubjective reality.”

The second part of “Homo Deus,” “Homo Sapiens gives meaning to the world,” explores this phenomenon in four chapters – spellbindingly and appealingly.

And you may already know it intuitively if you have read our summary of Rolf Jensen’s “The Dream Society”.

There, Jensen claimed that storytelling is humanity’s past – and its future. And this is what “intersubjective reality” is based upon.

Simply put, the actual reality is infinitely more complex than the one we think we know. However, we have silently agreed to believe in some sort of a shared reality so as to be able to cooperate better.

Just think about it:

Religion, countries and borders, money – these are all, strictly speaking, lies. They are stories which help us find a meaning in our reality and organize it better.

And our evolution has mirrored the evolution of our stories (and vice versa). Where once we had “God” and “religion” we currently have “science” and “humanism.”

For better or for worse.

In fact, that’s exactly what the third part of “Homo Deus” – “Homo Sapiens loses control” – goes on to answer.

Namely, we’ve gained a lot when we decided to replace the main story of our existence. Because, up until the 19th century, we were sure that a certain God controlled our lives and we considered famine and diseases as punishments for our actions.

But, then, science introduced a new intersubjective reality, one in which we were able to act on our own behalf. And, consequently, one in which we made famine and diseases obsolete.

However, also one in which we’ve sacrificed things such as empathy and meaning and started living by algorithms. We’ve solved numerous problems, and even managed to create life! We’ve evolved from God’s puppets to divine puppeteers!

The next phase, according to Harari, is Homo Deus – an immortal being capable of using big data to answer almost any question.

The three Harari leaves us with on the last page of his book are so thought-provoking, we’ll just have to quote them in entirety:

1.  Are organisms really just algorithms and is life really just data processing?
2.  What’s more valuable – intelligence or consciousness?
3.  What will happen to society, politics and daily life when non-conscious but highly intelligent algorithms know us better than we know ourselves?

Key Lessons from “Homo Deus”

1.      Yesterday: Homo Sapiens Conquered the World
2.      Today: Homo Sapiens Gives Meaning to the World
3.      Tomorrow: Homo Sapiens Will Lose Control

Yesterday: Homo Sapiens Conquered the World

In essence, Homo sapiens is merely a single animal species, not much different from bears or elephants and even less dissimilar to chimpanzees and bonobos.

However, you wouldn’t think that if you take into consideration that you eat most of the other animals on a daily basis.

But, you can do that – because homo sapiens was smarter and more cooperative than any other species. So, it climbed at the top of the evolutionary ladder.

And it has stayed there for centuries.

Today: Homo Sapiens Gives Meaning to the World

Homo sapiens is so special because it is capable of giving the world some meaning which is inherently absent from it.

Once upon a time, we did that through myths. Then we moved on to religion. Afterward, nations, economies, and ideologies followed.

Nowadays, it’s humanism – or, more precisely, liberalism – the dominant narrative. It believes in the value of everyone’s life and everyone’s freedom of choice.

But, it’s under threat – from the very things it produced.

Tomorrow: Homo Sapiens Will Lose Control

Namely, science.

Science has made us almost all-powerful beings. However, in the pursuit to become even more powerful, we’ve forgotten that we’re part of a world where we are still just one species. So, we’ve not only started other species’ extinctions, we’ve also started the extinction of our own species.

Homo Sapiens is creating something new – Homo Deus. The problem is that, once the process is finished, we’ll not be at the top of the evolutionary ladder.

We’re willingly giving up control.

And who knows what that will result in.

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“Homo Deus” Quotes

This is the best reason to learn history: not in order to predict the future, but to free yourself of the past and imagine alternative destinies. Click To Tweet We do not become satisfied by leading a peaceful and prosperous existence. Rather, we become satisfied when reality matches our expectations. Click To Tweet Sugar is now more dangerous than gunpowder. Click To Tweet The most common reaction of the human mind to achievement is not satisfaction, but craving for more. Click To Tweet History isn’t a single narrative, but thousands of alternative narratives. Whenever we choose to tell one, we are also choosing to silence others. Click To Tweet

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Thinking for a Change Summary

Thinking for a Change Summary11 Ways Highly Successful People Approach Life and Work

Thinking for a Change” is a life-altering book that undermines conventional wisdom and presents many new thinking branches that can be customized.

About John C. Maxwell

John C. MaxwellJohn C. Maxwell is an expert on leadership and the author of several bestselling books such as “The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership”.

“Thinking for a Change Summary”

  • Every process, endeavor, action or operations begins and ends with thinking! Successful people, in particular, know this and understand the impact.
  • Changing your mindset is critical to enhancing your performance.

In fact, proper thinking patterns consist of related but different thinking skills. Each one of those has a big role and if fully implemented can lead to success and prosperity in all realms.  

Big-picture thinking

You must persist on maintaining continuous growth and expansion. Same as the body, our mind also requires training. Never stop to look for new opportunities, which will give you the edge in personal and professional life.  Ask questions and listen intentionally when you’re in the company of wise people.

Focused thinking

Focused thinking, as the concept implies, is based on aiming your attention at a specific point. Finding solutions to problems is facilitated by this method. It is mainly concerned with enforcing a transparent and robust approach to decision-making.

Creative thinking

In truth, many people believe that creativity is an innate characteristic, it’s not something you develop over the years. Quite frankly, all children are creative and intuitive. We lose our creativeness in the adult world, but that doesn’t mean it cannot be reignited.

Realistic thinking

Grown-ups idolize realism, and as time goes, the emphasis falls on practical reasoning rather than on chasing dreams and fantasies. Hoping for a better tomorrow is done differently; being a down-to-earth person means to advocate for facing the actual reality.

Strategic thinking

Strategic attitude is composed of analyzing the pros and cons of every decision. Such analytical approach focuses on planning before the implementation phase is underway.

Possibility thinking

In this case, the belief plays a pivotal role in reaching the outlined goals. Visualization as a part of the whole process is enforced at the beginning as a tool for motivation. The motto is “Visualize before you can materialize.”

Reflective thinking

Reflective thinking reduces the stigma attached to the future and concentrates on the past. Looking back and seeing your mistakes is one way to improve your current status. It assists and helps each and every one to stay on track and adopt a disciplinary behavior.

Going beyond popular thinking

Staying safe in the herd is a cowardly method. If you want to distinguish yourself from your peers and the rest of the flock, one must utilize the “power of the unpredictable” and apply an out-of-box mindset. Tackle conventional wisdom and go for the trophy.

“Shared thinking”

Having mutual goals is a great way to ignite the fire in the hearts of many. The mind-blowing idea doesn’t have to be unique nor yours, it has to be effective. Put your communication skills to the test and use brainstorm sessions to attract first-class propositions.

“Unselfish thinking”

It doesn’t come as a surprise that success for most people is merely a reflection of personal gain. “What’s in it for me” is not the only way. Helping others to achieve their goals gives birth to enjoyment that no other feeling can overshadow. A real win-win situation!

“Bottom-line thinking”

Underline your fundamental principles and conceptualize your thoughts. “Bottom line thinking” illustrated in financial terms indicates that you are striving for success in professional life. Evaluation of prosperity is based on self-imposed standards.

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“Thinking for a Change” Quotes

Dont ever be impressed with goal setting; be impressed with goal getting. Reaching new goals and moving to a higher level of performance always requires change, and change feels awkward. But take comfort in the knowledge that if a change… Click To Tweet Ideas have a short shelf life. You must act on them before the expiration date. Click To Tweet People with humility don’t think less of themselves; they just think of themselves less. Click To Tweet Your thinking, more than anything else, shapes the way you live. It’s really true that if you change your thinking, you can change your life. Click To Tweet There is no life as empty as the self-centered life. There is no life as centered as the self-empty life. Click To Tweet

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