Option B Summary

Option B SummaryFacing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy

There comes a time in life, when you or someone you know suffers from a devastating loss.

What do you say? How do you offer your support?

How do you move on with your life if that person is you?

In our summary of “Option B,” we answer all of these questions through the story of Sheryl Sandberg and her loss – recovery.

Who Should Read “Option B”? and Why?

Sheryl Sandberg, a successful and happy woman, watched her life crumble into pieces when her husband Dave Goldberg died while they were vacationing in Mexico.

Going through the loss and helping their children deal with the sadness were the toughest challenges that she ever encountered in her life.

After coming out of the crisis, she decided, along with her co-author Adam Grant, to document some of the most personal moments of her journey through grief, and in such a way share everything that she had learned about coping with loss.

We recommend “Option B” to everyone, since everyone needs to find the right way to receive and give support during a crisis.

About Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant

Sheryl SandbergSheryl Sandberg worked in the US Treasury Department, and was a vice president of global online sales and operations at Google, before becoming the COO of Facebook. She is the author of “Lean In“.

Adam GrantAdam Grant is the Wharton School’s highest-rated professor and the youngest tenured faculty member. He is a former advertising director and a junior Olympian.

“Option B Summary”

We have all suffered or will at some point in time experience some devastating loss. However, feeling such loss must not stop our lives from functioning.

We cannot stop time; we cannot stop the world. Life goes on everywhere around you, no matter what happens to you, so you do not have the luxury just to stay away from everything. You have to learn how to cope, and let life flow the way it was moving before.

When Sheryl Sandberg suffered such a loss herself, she realized that she needed to find a way to cope with the seemingly unbearable sorrow, because she needed to care for her children.

Facing such challenge made her create a list of strategies that would help people weather the tragedy.

In “Option B” she shares the lessons she learned regarding giving and receiving comfort.

She categorized her insights in nine lessons for moving forward, which we cover in the key lessons below.

Key Lessons from “Option B”:

1.      Realize that “grief is a demanding companion.”
2.      Beware the “three P’s.”
3.      Name the elephant in the room.
4.      Try not to ask, “Is there anything I can do?” – Just do it.
5.      Have a go at journaling and acknowledge “little wins.”
6.      Parlay resilience into “post-traumatic growth.”
7.      “Take things back” from your loss.
8.      Respect children’s unique sensibilities
9.      Acknowledge that you can learn how to love again.

Realize that “grief is a demanding companion.”

Eleven years after they married, Sheryl Sandberg and Dave Goldberg left their two kids with their grandparents and went on a vacation in Mexico, to go to their friend’s 50th birthday celebration.

On Friday evening, Goldberg decided to go to the gym.

When he did not rejoin their gathering, Sandberg and Goldberg’s brother discovered him lying on the floor of the gym, with pools of blood under his head.

They did CPR and called an ambulance, but the situation was already past the point of no return.

Sandberg felt the deepest pain in her life.

Her friend, psychologist Adam Grant, consoled her telling her that she could find a way to recuperate more quickly, reinforce her strength and push anguish to run its course faster.

He guaranteed she would feel happiness again.

Weeks after Goldberg’s passing, she saw a father-kid activity coming up on the logbook. Since Goldberg was no longer there, she thought of an “Option B”: having somebody “fill in for Dave.”

At the point when Option A is not accessible, Option B is your only choice.

Beware the “three P’s.”

Therapist Martin Seligman reports that three propensities block people’s recuperation from hardships:

1) “Personalization” is the conviction that it is all your fault

2) “Pervasiveness” is the conviction that the event will negatively affect everything else in your life

3) “Permanence” is the conviction that things will never show signs of improvement.

Individuals who avoid the three P’s adapt better.

Name the elephant in the room.

After Goldberg’s death, Sandberg was often shocked when colleagues did not ask how she was doing. She acknowledges with empathy that although most grieving people want to voice their feelings, people tend to avoid the subject of death.

Psychologists call this avoidance the “mum effect.” Often, many who want to express sympathy do not know how.

Feeling lonely one night, Sandberg bravely posted on Facebook that instead of asking “How are you?” – a routine question often posed without thinking – people should ask, “How are you today,” to show that they understand the daily up-and-down struggle of coping with tragedy.

The reaction to the post was warm and positive. Strangers shared stories; friends began to talk openly and express empathy.

Try not to ask, “Is there anything I can do?” – just do it.

Instead of asking people if they need something, just do it. Holding out a helping hand encourages people regardless of whether they asked for help or not. The worst thing you can do is disappear.

Have a go at journaling and acknowledge “little wins.”

Recording small everyday triumphs supports your self-confidence, and helps you cope better. Focus on the positive, no matter how insignificant it may seem.

Parlay resilience into “post-traumatic growth.”

There are different types of people out there. Some people suffer from PTSD or depression after trauma, while others bounce back and become stronger after a loss.

“Take things back” from your loss.

Do not waste your life by shutting happiness out. Rediscover fun by taking things away from your grief: do the things that are interesting alone or with someone else, even though you may have done them with your late loved ones before.

Respect children’s unique sensibilities

Sandberg thought that her children would suffer significantly from losing their father.

However, children have a different coping mechanism as opposed to adults, and as a result, can recover more easily.

Take care of your children by listening to them, valuing their ideas, and letting them shape their lives.

Acknowledge that you can learn how to love again.

After losing a loved one, letting yourself look for affection someplace else can be a problem. Dating can make you feel guilty. People that once knew you paired with someone may also find it troublesome to picture you with someone else.

However, you have to allow yourself to feel love again. Moving on does not mean that you stop respecting and caring for your late partner. It means you allow yourself to live.

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“Option B” Quotes

Option A is not available. so let's just kick the shit out of Option B. Click To Tweet Let me fall if I must fall. The one I become will catch me. Click To Tweet Each one of us is more than the worst thing we've ever done. Click To Tweet Life is never perfect. We all live some form of Option B. Click To Tweet As we get older, we define happiness less in terms of excitement and more in terms of peacefulness. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

In “Option B” Sandberg and Grant study how other people deal with trauma and, how some of them even found a new purpose in life through post-traumatic growth.

They furthermore explore the qualities of recovery and resilience and give advice and recommendations that anyone could use when in need of support, consolation, and finding your way back to happiness.

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Lean In Summary

Lean In SummaryWomen, Work, and the Will to Lead

Sometimes it is not easy being a woman. This is especially true when it comes to the workplace.

We are all aware that many women do not get the same treatment as men, although they are doing the same jobs.

In our summary of “Lean In” we let you know why that is the case, and what you can do to change the treatment you get.

Who Should Read “Lean In”? And Why?

The talk that surrounded Facebook Coo’s “Lean In” which targets women in the workplace started even before the book was published.

Many of those that critiqued it worried that a successful billionaire executive would blame for workplace inequality on lower income, worker-class women. They expected that she would not make a distinction between educated women like herself, and those that did not have the same privileges.

However, their worries were unfounded and premature. We find that Sandberg’s “Lean In” pushes all the right buttons when it comes to the subject it touches.

We recommend it to all women who strive to be successful and fight for equal rights in the workplace.

About Sheryl Sandberg

Sheryl SandbergSheryl Sandberg worked in the US Treasury Department, and was a vice president of global online sales and operations at Google, before becoming the COO of Facebook.

“Lean In Summary”

Sheryl Sandberg was a Harvard graduate who worked for her mentor, Lawrence Summers. First, she worked at the World Bank, and after she earned an MBA and put in a year with McKinsey, she became his head of staff when he was US Treasury secretary.

She was Google’s VP of worldwide online sales and operations before getting to be a head operating officer at Facebook.

She uses Facebook as a platform for this book.

“Lean In”’s open commotion that surrounded it pre and post its publication, demonstrated a pivotal point:

The role of women in the work environment is an inconceivably emotional topic.

It sure as hell pushes some buttons. Take, for example, the strain amongst stay-at-home and working moms, the professional penalties that women pay for giving time to their families, sexism in the working environment, and corporate foreswearing of the way that monetary concerns and child-bearing limits women’s’ options.

Furthermore, “Lean In” also underlines on one of Sandberg’s declarations:

The shortage of females in the highest levels of leadership puts the couple of women who get to positions of power under in-depth examination, transforming them into representatives for their whole gender, regardless of whether they want to play that part or not.

As an illustrative case, let’s take note of the firestorm of negative feedback aimed at the president and CEO of Yahoo, Marissa Mayer after she declared that she would do her job all throughout her maternity leave.

Sandberg herself admits that she was initially reluctant to talk about gender orientated issues, realizing that doing as such would put her at the focal point of a brutally unforgiving spotlight.

Her friends and acquaintances cautioned her that she would be pigeonholed as another feminist official as opposed to being known as Facebook’s COO.

In addition, talking from the stage made her powerless against similar reactions pointed at any woman who decides to call attention to the imbalance in the work environment.

In other words, close-minded men may start seeing her as a caricature of a humorless, man-hating female, who is merely looking for special treatment in the workplace or threatening taking legal action.

Key Lessons from “Lean In”:

1.      Climbing Leadership Ladder
2.      Are You Blocking Your Own Progress?
3.      Suggestions to Overcome Internal Barriers

Climbing Leadership Ladder

The core issue of Sandberg’s book: the lack of females in positions of high authority in business and government, although a bit controversial, is undeniable.

The provided information says a lot.

In 2007, women held somewhere around 17% of seats on US corporate boards of directors. Similar numbers are present in government as well. At the point when Sandberg’s book initially came out, women held just 18% of the seats in the US Congress.

Sanders merely asks: Why is that the case?

As a response, she determines and studies the obstacles that keep the executive suite out of women’s reach.

The sad truth is that the conditions that foil women’s ascent to the top still exist.

Each day, in workplaces around the world, women confront segregation, sexism, and badgering.

The absence of alternatives for child care constrains them to pick between their families and their professions.

Moreover, Sandberg says, women have a more difficult time than men discovering mentors, and they should work harder to win the same acknowledgment.

Are You Blocking Your Own Progress?

Sandberg raises a caution of the self-made limits women put in front of themselves. However, while doing that she does not miss to mention that she was liable for similar conduct.

Women are not in possession of enough self-confidence and are inclined to underestimate themselves. They are less decisive, as well, and feel more hesitant to self-promote and negotiate for themselves as opposed to their male partners.

Lastly, they want people to like them, which, as Sandberg clarifies, can hamper their power.

Suggestions to Overcome Internal Barriers

Sandberg urges the woman to sit at the table, lean in and speak up. According to her, women should not be afraid to make sure their voices are heard. She does not stop at the workplace. She further advised women to make real partners out of their partners and try to develop an equal distribution of labor at home.

Lastly, until you decide that it is time to leave, stay fully engaged.

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“Lean In” Quotes

What would you do if you weren't afraid? Click To Tweet Done is better than perfect. Click To Tweet In the future, there will be no female leaders. There will just be leaders. Click To Tweet We cannot change what we are not aware of, and once we are aware, we cannot help but change. Click To Tweet There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. Click To Tweet

Our Critical Review

In “Lean In” Sandberg gives women some excellent advice for fighting internal barriers, but a significant portion of it any informed, a feminist social scientist could provide.

Additionally, she fails to mention the benefits corporations get whenever they add a bigger percentage of women to their top levels. Readers may also feel that they did not get enough personal strategies to achieve female equality.

However, Sandberg’s style is personal and “Lean In” is a book filled with anecdotes. Hence, the book is much more than just a statement of facts and formal corporate analysis.

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