The Chimp Paradox Summary

The Chimp Paradox SummaryThe Mind Management Program for Confidence, Success and Happiness

There is one surefire way to take control of your life – by taking control of your mind first. Dr. Steve Peters is one of the most famous sports psychologists alive – and knows that’s true even for the greatest athletes.

That’s why he wants to teach you something about “The Chimp Paradox.”

About Steve Peters

Steve PetersSteve Peters is an English psychiatrist, best known as the counselor of the British Cycling Team (Sir Chris Hoy, Victoria Pendleton). He has also advised sprinter Adam Gemili, snooker player Ronnie O’Sullivan, as well as the Liverpool F.C. In 2014, Roy Hodgson recruited him to help the England football team.

Steve Peters also competes in masters athletics and has won numerous gold medals.

“The Chimp Paradox Summary”

If you are not your brain, then, obviously, there’s a high chance that your brain is playing tricks on you from time to time. Insecurity, lack of self-confidence, sudden forgetfulness… familiar?

Well, according to noted psychiatrist Steve Peters, that’s not you. It’s the chimp in your brain.

You, see, your brain – or, more correct, your Psychological Mind – consists of three separate brains: The Human, the Chimp and the Computer Brain. You – the essential you – are the Human Brain. Your Chimp Brain is nothing but “an emotional thinking machine.” Finally, your Computer Brain “is a storage area and automatic functioning machine.”

Any one of these brains can take complete control of you at any given moment.

For example, are you making your morning coffee or driving the car while talking to someone? Well, you’re on autopilot – and you’re using your Computer Brain. Are you having an argument with your wife over some unimportant thing? Of course, you’re nothing different than a chimp.

Finally, are you asking yourself questions such as “What do I want to do in this situation?” or “What do I want to be in life?”

The answers to these questions are the key to the Human side of your brain. As Steve Peters says, “this is who you really are. Any deviation from this is a hijacking by the Chimp.”

But, how to put an end to this?

By killing the goblins in your brain! Yes – there are goblins in your brain and they are controlling what you think!

Now, Descartes would have loved that sentence!

Just like any similar operation, removing goblins starts with their identification. And since your Computer Brain is the storage of information in your skull, your goblins are most probably hidden somewhere in there. Because, you see, both your Chimp and your Human Brain are fed by the information stored on your Computer Brain.

Think of it just like the Internet: at any given moment, you can read a book summary here at or spend half an hour browsing through timewasting websites.

So, find a negative behavioral pattern which your Chimp Brain may abuse. And turn it into a positive one.

That’s what high performers do – and that’s what you should do too!

Key Lessons from “The Chimp Paradox”

1.      Your Brain Is a Three-Part Structure – Ravaged by Goblins
2.      Lesson #1 for Your Chimp: Everybody’s Different
3.      There Are Four Ways to Communicate – And the Fourth One Is Your Problem

Your Brain Is a Three-Part Structure – Ravaged by Goblins

Your Psychological Brain is not a holistic structure. It’s, in fact, internally divided into three parts: the Human Brain, the Chimp Brain, and the Computer Brain.

The Computer Brain is where you store all the information, which the Human and the Chimp inside your head can use it afterward. Now, the Chimp Brain is a bundle of emotions, as primitive as your distant Neanderthal cousins. And the Human Brain – is too rational to act quickly.

So, it’s the Chimp which usually takes control. By using the exactly wrong information saved by your Computer Brain. He’s the one clicking “New Tab” when you’re actually reading an informative Wikipedia article!

Now, that right there – that is an example of what is a brain goblin. Fight it – even if you have only 5 seconds!

Lesson #1 for Your Chimp: Everybody’s Different

One of the main things “The Chimp Paradox” tries to relate is that, even though everybody’s brain is the same three-part structure, there are millions of patterns and goblins. So, in a nutshell: everybody’s different.

And you’ve got to take this into account if you want to understand others!

Start by learning to not assume anything about the other person. Then, put the unreasonable expectations in the bin. Finally, abandon all prejudice. It doesn’t matter if they’re positive or negative: single stories are dangerous.

There Are Four Ways to Communicate – And the Fourth One Is Your Problem

Since the information stored by your Computer Brain can be used by both your Chimp Brain and your Human Brain at any time, every discussion has to have four different scenarios.

Namely, it can be a Human to Human discussion; it can also be a Human to Chimp or a Chimp to Human discussion; worst of all, it can be a Chimp to Chimp discussion. Everything bad that has ever happened in human history is because of chimp to chimp discussions.

The great news:

If you’re participating in a discussion – you can always be the Human. And even in the case of a disagreement, Human to Chimp discussion – believe us – will turn out just fine.

It just might take a little longer to wake the inner human in your disputant.

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“The Chimp Paradox” Quotes

When you decide to do something, remind yourself that it is commitment not motivation that matters. Click To Tweet Most people have reliable partners and sharing with a partner is one of the joys of life. However, basing your security on a partner or any other one individual is a recipe for disaster. Click To Tweet Do not measure ‘reasonable’ by your own standards and then impose them on to others because everyone has different standards. Click To Tweet I am an adult and I can deal with any situation. Click To Tweet It’s the way you deal with things, not what happens, that gives peace of mind. Click To Tweet

   Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

The Art of Happiness Summary

The Art of Happiness SummaryA Handbook for Living

Some say that attaining human happiness is as easy as adhering to a scientific formula. Others – that it’s more of an art. And among the latter is none other than Dalai Lama.

And we’re guessing that he’s your go-to guy as well when it comes to mastering “The Art of Happiness”.

About Dalai Lama

Dalai LamaDalai Lama is actually the title Tibetans give to their spiritual leaders. The one shown on the photograph is the last in a line of fourteen. His name is Tenzin Gyatso. He was enthroned as the Dalai Lama in 1940, and he assumed political duties ten years later, at the age of 15.

Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989 and is widely revered and respected.

“The Art of Happiness Summary”

Strictly speaking, “The Art of Happiness” is not actually written by the 14th Dalai Lama. But, its actual writer’s only intention is to relate Dalai Lama’s teachings – in His Holiness’ words.

That’s why the book can be best summarized as lists of quotes and monologues by the Dalai Lama, well organized by Howard C. Cutler, a Phoenix psychiatrist, in 5 parts and 15 chapters.

The first part is titled “The Purpose of Life” and it consists of four chapters.

The basic idea of this part is fairly simple: we are not only born to be happy, but we’re also born happy. The problem is that we need some help to reclaim the state of innate happiness. Which is, in fact, the purpose of life.

However, in order to discover what makes us happy, we must also find out what makes us unhappy. So, we must learn about our world and train our minds and bodies accordingly.

For example, many people are unhappy because they compare themselves to people who earn more than them. The Dalai Lama says that the trick is to flip this relation: why aren’t we comparing ourselves to the less fortunate?

Only then we’ll be able to learn that affection and love, closeness and compassion are the things that actually make us happy.

The second part, “Human Warmth and Compassion” is dedicated to a deeper exploration of these categories.

For example, according to the Dalai Lama, the Western concept of romantic love is very narrow and ultimately flawed. We must learn to connect to much more than one person. And in a much deeper and more meaningful way.

Because helping others makes us happier. And because it’s the one thing we can hope for when the suffering comes.

And that’s what the third part of “The Art of Happiness,” “Transforming Suffering” is all about.

Understandably, the Dalai Lama thinks that suffering and pain is an inevitable part of our existence. Moreover – and just like any Buddhist – he also thinks that it may be one of the more important parts as well.

Life shouldn’t be about trying to avoid suffering; it should be about facing it and finding meaning inside it. As he says – suffering is there to teach us about comfort. Because if we didn’t feel pain, we’d stick our hands in fires and burn them altogether.

But, what about anger, hatred, and anxiety?

Well, that’s what the fourth part, “Overcoming Obstacles,” is dedicated on in its entirety. The basic premise: you can’t control what’s happening to you, but you can control how you react to it.

Remember? The Pareto Principle.

Finally, the fifth part, “Closing Reflections on Living a Spiritual Life,” is a one-chaptered conclusion about what it means to live spiritually and which religion is the best road to happiness.

Unsurprisingly, according to the Dalai Lama, it’s all of them if practiced the right way.

Key Lessons from “The Art of Happiness”

1.      Flip the Practice of Comparing Yourself to Others to Your Favor
2.      Romantic Love Is a Myth – and Bad One Too
3.      There’s Nothing Unnatural in Suffering: Learn to Accept It

Flip the Practice of Comparing Yourself to Others to Your Favor

Almost every philosophy is based on a very simple notion: the purpose of life is to be happy. But, the 14th Dalai Lama says, it’s not enough to just know this – you must also really understand it.

For example, comparing yourself to the wealthier will leave you with a bitter taste in your mouth. So, why don’t you start comparing yourself to the ones less fortunate than you?

Just think about it: if you’re reading this summary, there are probably at least 4 billion such people worldwide!

Romantic Love Is a Myth – and Bad One Too

The western idea about romantic love revolves around the concept of “the one”. The prince on a white horse in a shining white armor. The blue-eyed blond virgin fallen head-over-heels with your every word and action.

However, this is actually a really narrow concept of love. Love is something much bigger. And includes many more people. If not – the whole world.

There’s Nothing Unnatural in Suffering: Learn to Accept It

Possibly the most important lesson in “The Art of Happiness”: suffering will inevitably happen. But, don’t blame god or your friends or yourself for it. It’s simply a part of life. And if you want to be happy, you’ll need to accept it.

Even more – to learn from it. Because, from suffering we learn the most about happiness.

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“The Art of Happiness” Quotes

Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive. Click To Tweet If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. Click To Tweet A disciplined mind leads to happiness, and an undisciplined mind leads to suffering. Click To Tweet Although you may not always be able to avoid difficult situations, you can modify the extent to which you can suffer by how you choose to respond to the situation. Click To Tweet In general, if we carefully examine any given situation in a very unbiased and honest way, we will realize that to a large extent we are also responsible for the unfolding of events. Click To Tweet

   Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Why Men Love Bitches Summary

Why Men Love Bitches SummaryFrom Doormat to Dreamgirl-A Woman’s Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship

Do you want to know “Why Men Love Bitches”? Then read on.

About Sherry Argov

Sherry ArgovSherry Argov is a writer and a professional radio host.

“Why Men Love Bitches Summary”

You have heard it numerous time: men love bitches.

And, even though women know it – most of them go the extra mile to please their men and get walked over.

Why do we do that? Why are we beings so nice, even in situations when being nice may harm us?

The answer lies in society.

Young girls grow up learning that the best way to attract a man is to do everything you can to please him.

But this is not the way to earn a man’s respect!

Not anymore, at least.

If you are always here for your man, he will start taking all of your efforts for granted.

Plus, being caring will not make man care for you sexually, but develop a motherly fondness.

That is not what you want, right?

Being utterly devoted to your partner will only stress him out. It will also diminish your individuality and make your partner feel suffocated.

By trying to bring your partner closer, you are only pushing him away.

The worst mistake you can do is to give up what you do and what you like, so you can “click” better.

This will make you needy and insecure.

Your man should love you for who you are – all your wishes, hobbies and friends enter the equation.

When you show a man you are prepared to give up everything for him, you are only burdening him, since he cannot feel the support he needs during stressful times.

As you can already conclude, most of the things we “know” about men are a complete lie.

Then, what do men really want?

Men love the chase; they like when women make things difficult for them.

The best way to make your men entirely devote himself to you is making him work for your love and attention.

It is not about playing games – it is about a genuine change of attitude.

Realize that your time is valuable and that you are amazing as you are.

When you start appreciating yourself more, you will not feel the need to make all those sacrifices you thought of making, since you will feel that you are worthy of love just as you are.

That will instantly make you more attractive.

Love yourself, and everyone else will follow.

Key Lessons from “Why Men Love Bitches”

1.      Put Yourself First
2.      Treat Yourself and Create Some Distance
3.      Do Not Fake It

Put Yourself First

Forget everything you learned about men!

You do not need to put all your energy into pleasing him. Instead, focus on yourself. Love yourself, stay independent and never give up your wishes and hobbies.

Make your men work for your love and attention.

Treat Yourself and Create Some Distance

Having some distance is good from time to time.

Stop dedicating all the time to your partner, and start having some time for pampering yourself.

Make a bubble bath of self-love, and watch your relationship turn for the better.

Do Not Fake It

Do not fake this new attitude. Pretending to be independent and self-confident is not enough.

Shut your negative voice up, and work on waking up the feeling of self-sufficiency inside yourself.

You do not want to play a game to keep your man – that is exhausting. What you want is to be what you present yourself to be: a strong, beautiful woman, deserving of all the love in the world.

Like this summary? We’d Like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Why Men Love Bitches” Quotes

Be an independent thinker at all times, and ignore anyone who attempts to define you in a limiting way. Click To Tweet Live by your own rules Move to your rhythm, instead of dancing to the beat of someone else’s drum Decide how you want to be treated Choose what you will or will not tolerate Leave if you don’t get what you want. Click To Tweet Anytime a woman competes with another woman she demeans herself. Click To Tweet He must feel that you choose to be with him, not that you need to be with him. Click To Tweet Truly powerful people don't explain why they want respect. They simply don't engage someone who doesn't give it to them. Click To Tweet

   Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

The Book of Joy Summary

The Book of Joy SummaryLasting Happiness in a Changing World

We are constantly feeling stressed. Spiritual awakening has never been more crucial than now.

And who would know more about spirituality than Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, who share their knowledge in “The Book of Joy”?

About Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu

Dalai LamaThe Dalai Lama is a spiritual leader of the Tibetan people and a Nobel Peace Prize recipient.

Desmond Tutu is Archbishop Emeritus of South Africa, a civil rights activist, and a Nobel Peace Prize recipient, as well.

“The Book of Joy Summary”

Nowadays, your schedule may overburden you immensely. Being stressed out is easy.

However, despite its “dark” side, suffering, although constant, is essential to life.


Because it allows you to experience the positive moments more profoundly. In fact, if you know how to use pain the proper way, it can become a constructive force.

To experience suffering the proper way, you need to shift your focus from yourself to others.

Observing yourself, according to lo-jong, the Buddhist mind training practice, will only cause sadness.

What you need in life is building up a mental immunity.

If you do it, you will still feel pain, but you will recover far easier.

However, how do you build up such immunity?

Well, the first step is understanding the nature of fear and frustration.

You need to understand that fears are not rooted in reality – they are facets of your mind.

When you do understand this, you will also comprehend that by shifting your perspective you can find joy in any situation.

Most of the time you will face events that you cannot change.

Thinking about it and letting frustration build up will only do you harm. The only way you can control is your own reaction.

So, what you should do is to accept the situation and use it as an opportunity to grow and experience patience.

Yes, we understand that this is easier said than done, but it is possible to let go of stress.

The basis of most stress is fear.

Fear of failure, of not getting what you want, of disrespect, or of others not loving you.

Fear, if you leave it unattended can grow into anger and then decrease the quality of your life.

To lead a better life, you need to cultivate happiness. You can do this by building upon the pillars of joy: perspective, humility, humor, acceptance, gratitude, compassionate concern, and spending time on others’ happiness.

Key Lessons from “The Book of Joy”

1.      Find the Path to Joy
2.      Connecting With Others
3.      The Trap of Envy

Find the Path to Joy

It is all in your mind.

Instead of focusing on the material things focus on your inner being which is the happiest when it perceives the wellbeing of others.

Emanate compassion and generosity.

Connecting With Others

People connect through compassion, and surprisingly through sadness as well.

Stay open-hearted and trusting others to avoid loneliness.

The Trap of Envy

Envy should be avoided at all costs.

We are all wired to desire what we do not have and others do, so stay aware of your thoughts and feelings, and do not let yourself get in the trap of loneliness.

Like this summary? We’d Like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“The Book of Joy” Quotes

There’s a Tibetan saying: Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home. Click To Tweet The more time you spend thinking about yourself, the more suffering you will experience. Click To Tweet Why be unhappy about something if it can be remedied? And what is the use of being unhappy if it cannot be remedied? Click To Tweet Seek to be an oasis of caring and concern as you live your life. Click To Tweet Wherever you have friends that’s your country, and wherever you receive love, that’s your home. Click To Tweet

   Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

The No Asshole Rule Summary

The No Asshole Rule SummaryBuilding a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn’t

Don’t be an asshole. Don’t be a victim of one.

Follow “The No Asshole Rule.”

About Robert I. Sutton

Robert I. SuttonRobert I. Sutton is an author, an advisor and a Professor at Stanford Business School

“The No Asshole Rule Summary”

Assholes are everywhere.

They are those people who put down and bully others.

Even ourselves sometimes act like assholes, for example when we have a bad day.

But that is temporary asshole behavior.

Certified assholes, on the other hand, are assholes by character.

Their behavior is not a result of a bad day, but it is a long-term pattern.

They express their hostility mentally or physically, through verbal or non-verbal cues.

If you are a victim of an asshole, you will feel afraid, angry, and even humiliated.

The workplace also can be filled with assholes. These assholes intimidate and insult employees, interrupt others while they are trying to express themselves, put them down or ignore them altogether.

And still, they get away with it.

In fact, very often, they even rise to management positions.

How do they do that?

Assholes are smart enough to know whom to treat badly. Hence, they always are courteous and respectful towards the clients and superiors, while mistreating other co-workers.

That is why many companies tolerate assholes, without realizing how it affects the business.

But, such behavior is bad for business, especially when these people assume the role of superiors.

Observations show that in an environment where assholes get away with their conduct, employee morale is low.

Which, of course, affects the staff’s productivity, since employees focus on avoiding humiliation, instead of on focusing on doing a good job.

To create a sound working environment, companies need to adopt “The No Asshole Rule.”

And this rule should apply to every employee, who holds any kind of position.

It should even apply to customers who put down the employees for no good reason.

More equality equals fewer assholes.

Key Lessons from “The No Asshole Rule”

1.      How to Reduce Asshole Behavior
2.      The Best Motivators of People
3.      Building Emotional Distance

How to Reduce Asshole Behavior

The way business should go about reducing asshole behavior is decreasing the social distance between the staff.

You can do this using different means, one of which is keeping the wage gap as narrow as you can.

The Best Motivators of People

People are best motivated by two things: recognition and incentives.

These positive techniques are long lasting and will keep the office morale high, and hence increase productivity and quality.

Building Emotional Distance

If you are a victim of asshole behavior, you can build emotional distance by realizing that:

  • You are not the reason the problem occurred.
  • The problem will not last forever – it is temporary.
  • The problem will not extend out of the workplace and ruin the rest of your life.

Like this summary? We’d Like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“The No Asshole Rule” Quotes

The difference between how a person treats the powerless versus the powerful is as good a measure of human character as I know. Click To Tweet Fight as if you are right, listen as if you are wrong. Click To Tweet Listen to those under your supervision. Really listen. Don’t act as if you’re listening and let it go in one ear and out the other. Faking it is worse than not doing it at all. Click To Tweet People also have a greater capacity when they aren’t worn down by work and worry. Click To Tweet Assholes tend to stick together, and once stuck are not easily separated. Click To Tweet

   Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

The 5 Love Languages Summary

The 5 Love Languages SummaryThe Secret to Love That Lasts

Love is one, universal and universally intelligible language, right? Wrong – says Gary Chapman! Love is expressed in five different languages – and you need to learn to translate them well if you want eternal love!

But, before that, learn “The 5 Love Languages”!

About Gary Chapman

Gary ChapmanGary Chapman is a “New York Times” bestselling author and love/marriage counselor. He is most famous for his “Five Languages of Love” series of books, which, in addition to the original 1995 work, includes “The 5 Love Languages for Men,” “The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers” and “The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition.”

“The 5 Love Languages Summary”

Poets got it all wrong!

Falling in love is easy; staying in love is the difficult part.

And even science backs this. For example, American psychologist Dorothy Tennov, a leading authority on romantic love and limerence (a term she coined), discovered that most people are in love for no more than two years.

Afterward, it’s all routine.

And it can’t be any different because the physiological part of love – hormones, infatuation, the need to be in someone’s company – naturally fades with time. And if you don’t learn to communicate your love with your partner, you’re left with nothing valuable afterward.

Gary Chapman says that learning to communicate with your partner lovingly is nothing different from learning to communicate with someone who speaks a different language. At least one of the two – and in the best-case scenario: both – will have to learn the other one’s language.

And love has five different languages.

First of all, words of affirmation.

The most obvious language of love is language itself. Some people want to know they’re loved and love to hear words of encouragement and read notes and letters all the time. They take insults and criticism as the most brutal attack on love you can ever imagine.

The second language of love is quality time.

Spending time with your partner doesn’t mean looking at your smartphone every few seconds. It’s giving him or her the full, undivided attention. Distractions and lack of one-on-one time is a big no-no!

Receiving gifts is the third language of love.

Some people appreciate another person’s dedication to a relationship in terms of remembered birthdays and anniversaries. And the thoughtfulness of a present.

The fourth language is acts of service.

Or, in other words, the immaterial form of gifts. Giving a helping hand, alleviating your beloved’s workload. In this case, making someone else’s request a priority is the same as saying “I like him/her better than you.”

Finally, the fifth language of love is physical touch.

So, we went the full circle: from full verbal – to nonverbal. This one’s self-explanatory: hugging, kissing, putting the needs of the partner first when making love… Obviously, one of the things you must avoid in this case is lack of intimacy. It translates to: “You’re repelling.”

Knowing the five languages of love is merely the beginning. Naturally, finding the one that best describes your definition of love is the second step. Then, the third one is discovering your partner’s love language.

Finally, the fourth step is – well, eternal bliss.

Key Lessons from “The 5 Love Languages”

1.      And They Lived Happily… Two Years Max
2.      Communication is the Key – and Love Has Five Languages
3.      Understand Your Partner’s Love Language

And They Lived Happily… Two Years Max

The moment you fall in love, you’re absolutely sure that you’ve found the right one. And this goes on for some time. But, psychologists have discovered that that some time is no more than two years. Because that’s exactly how long your body’s physical response translates to in-love emotions.

After all, evolution wasn’t really interested in pressuring humans into monogamy for millions of years.

Communication is the Key – and Love Has Five Languages

However, things changed and, nowadays, you can be happy in a monogamous relationship. The goal: just learn to communicate with your partner.

Because, you see, love has five languages. The first among them is language itself: words of affirmation. The second is quality time, followed by receiving gifts and acts of service. The final one is physical touch.

Understand Your Partner’s Love Language

What this all boils down to is very simple truism: everyone understands love differently.

For someone love is a note by the bed left each morning, and for someone else – it’s just doing the dishes. A third person thinks that love is saying “I love you” many times a day, and for a fourth one is all about not forgetting the anniversary. Finally, for someone it can even be just the joy of sex.

Either way, your best shot at being happy in a relationship is learning the love language of your partner. And translating your love into it.

Of course, your partner should do the same as well.

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“The 5 Love Languages” Quotes

I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday. Click To Tweet People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need. Click To Tweet What we do for each other before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage. Click To Tweet Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is considered the cruelest of punishments. Click To Tweet The in-love experience does not focus on our own growth or on the growth and development of the other person. Rather, it gives us the sense that we have arrived and that we do not need further growth. Click To Tweet

   Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Trauma and Recovery Summary

Trauma and Recovery SummaryThe Aftermath of Violence – From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror

Trauma and Recovery” is an eye-opening book that put in plain English, what we must do to confront the bullies and reduce their influence in this world.

About Judith Herman

Judith HermanDespite being an author, Judith Lewis Herman, teaches clinical psychiatry at Harvard University.

“Trauma and Recovery Summary”

Traumatic experiences can have a different impact depending on the person’s character. You can either be completely terrified or experience some internal shift. Judith Herman driven by revolutionary ideas investigates how trauma endangers our way of life and influence the human psyche, regardless of its origins.

The author is mainly inspired by the feminist standpoint and examines the collision between agony and momentary shock. The 70s are considered to be the worst years of unrest attributed to domestic abuse, rape, workplace abuse of power, and illegal activities to quiet down those preparing a response.  

Making split-second decisions is in our blood. Rushing to solve the issue without taking into account many other factors is an impulse rising from anger and insecurity. Finding a motive to subdue this instinct is like playing in dangerous territory. Humans are prone to react to defend their position and to preserve the order.

When trauma attacks and seriously threatens a person’s self-defense instinct, it triggers a posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The symptoms are categorized into three main classes:

  1. Hyperarousal” – Traumatized people are constantly on alert for anything suspicious.

Symptoms include sleep disorder, never-ending suspicion, mood swings, irrational behavior, depression, anxiety, etc.

  1. Intrusion” – In truth, the PTSD forms a defensive mechanism after the traumatic event, which keeps the victim on the lookout for any hidden danger.

The trauma is transforming from periodical to absolute, always fixated in their heads and that includes both sleeping and daytime periods.

  1. Constriction” – Some victims even experience a shift in consciousness due to the dangerous situation that prompts them to be on full alert.

The symptoms of this restricted state include a sense of insecurity, damaged orientation, mood swings, passivity, unwillingness to admit the problem.

In order to recover, the captives must acknowledge the situation and accept treatment. Understanding what they’ve been through is only stage one.

The recovery process must be fueled with real care and supervision of those who are in need of protection.

Key Lessons from “Trauma and Recovery

1.      Various forms of control and dominance
2.      Contribute to eradicate this mindset
3.      The recovery is never easy

Various forms of control and dominance

Keeping the victim status is vital so that the captive will more easily accept the repeated abuses. Throughout history especially in war camps, people testified about monstrous forms of torture.

Captivity is also illustrated through religious obedience and lack of freedom.  

Contribute to eradicate this mindset

We must instigate a complete dissolution of these prison systems. You don’t need bars to realize that your voice will never be heard – a situation well-known to many women throughout the globe.

Domestic abuse continues to increase, “keeping the victims isolated with no connections to the rest of the world” is the primary weapon.  

The recovery is never easy

When you lose all the trust, it’s hard to regain it. People in charge of providing unconditional support and compassion to the victims note that sometimes it’s virtually impossible to recover fully.

Some events will leave a mark, and the main thing is to prevent any suicide attempts.

Like this summary? We’d Like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Trauma and Recovery” Quotes

Helplessness and isolation are the core experiences of psychological trauma. Empowerment and reconnection are the core experiences of recovery. Click To Tweet The survivor who has accomplished her recovery faces life with few illusions but often with gratitude. Click To Tweet The psychological distress symptoms of traumatized people simultaneously call attention to the existence of an unspeakable secret and deflect attention from it. Click To Tweet Psychological trauma is an affliction of the powerless. Click To Tweet Traumatic events call into question basic human relationships. Click To Tweet

   Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Irresistible Summary

Irresistible SummaryThe Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked

Have you ever wondered why are you currently reading this on your PC, laptop, tablet or smartphone? Adam Adler says that the answer to this question is pretty obvious. Technology is simply “Irresistible.”

But, is that good?

About Adam Alter

Adam AlterAdam Alter is an American marketing consultant and author, dedicated to “exploring the roots of our tech addiction.” He is also a teacher at the New York University Stern School of Business. So far he has written one more book in addition to “Irresistible”: “Drunk Tank Pink.”

“Irresistible Summary”

The best way to recommend a good book?

By telling the reader how good that book is considered by authors of some undeniably great books.

In the case of Adam Alter’s “Irresistible” we believe that we can’t skip over at least two recommendations: Adam Grant’s and Malcolm Gladwell’s.

Because, for one thing, you don’t need an introduction for either of them.

For Adam Grant, “Irresistible” is “one of the most mesmerizing and important books [he has] read in quite some time.” Because, in it, “Alter brilliantly illuminates the new obsessions that are controlling our lives and offers the tools we need to rescue our businesses, our families, and our sanity.”

Malcolm Gladwell is even more succinct: “’Irresistible’ is a fascinating and much needed exploration of one of the most troubling phenomena of modern times.”

And we can promise you one thing: you won’t look at tech addiction as something innocuous ever again.

Because it’s very real and it’s very scary. Even though you don’t notice it, you spend about three hours every day looking at your phone. Which you peak up about 40 times a day for no reason at all!

So the real question isn’t if smartphones are destroying our generation. It is: how can we stop them?

Well, a good start is understanding what addiction actually is. Interestingly enough, as James Olds discovered while experimenting with rats, its antonym isn’t “sobriety,” but “connection.” Or, to strip it down to bare basics, you’ll not be addicted to anything – if you have loving friends and a partner.

Tech addiction is similar to drug addiction – but it’s not the same. That’s because it stimulates the same areas as heroin and releases dopamine, but it doesn’t have the same effects. And it can be kicked out of life in an easier manner!

You need a starting point?

Look no further than your bed. Revolutionize your sleep habits!

Once you do that, disable email notifications; and still check your mail much less regularly. It will have a positive effect both on your productivity and health!

Next – and this is a fairly difficult thing to do – limit the time you spend on Facebook. And completely ignore the “Like” button! Because, you see, it’s a trick – it makes every post a gamble (in terms of whether you’ll receive a like or not) and that releases dopamine which makes you a like-addict.

Whether you like it or not.

However, it’s a risky ordeal to repress an addiction. It usually makes it worse.

As anyone who has ever tried quitting smoking or drugs has realized in the end, a much better strategy is substitution.

Create a new habit.

And Alter says that there’s a great book to teach you how you can do that.

Key Lessons from “Irresistible”

1.      Facebook’s “Like” Button Turns You into a Zeiler Pigeon
2.      Don’t Work Yourself to Death
3.      Save the Children – They Are Innocent

Facebook’s “Like” Button Turns You into a Zeiler Pigeon

In the 1970s, Michael Zeiler experimented with pigeons by rewarding them after they clicked a button. In the beginning, he gave them food every time they pressed the button. Afterward, he gave them only in 50 to 70 percent of the cases.

The pigeons started pressing the button more regularly in the second case!

The same happens with gamblers – and with you in view of Facebook’s “Like” button. You post more on Facebook in hope that every next post will get more likes.

Stop doing that: it’s a trick!

Don’t Work Yourself to Death

One of capitalism’s greatest tricks: making you believe that there’s always some work left to be done.

Even so – it’s not yours to finish it. Unfortunately, modern technology has given us opportunities to finish some tasks much faster. Does it ring a bell: “just to send one more email, just to make one more Excel table…”

Tech addiction creates “workaholics.” And the title is no joke. It’s a real thing, especially in Asia. In fact, the Japanese, the Chinese, and the South Koreans have words for it.

It’s that bad.

Save the Children – They Are Innocent

Whatever you do, protect your children from technology as long as you can. Putting a limit to the time they spend in front of televisions and computers is one of the greatest things you can do.

Playing with them instead – is even better.

Like this summary? We’d like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Irresistible” Quotes

It seemed as if the people producing tech products were following the cardinal rule of drug dealing: never get high on your own supply. Click To Tweet

In 2008, adults spent an average of eighteen minutes on their phones per day; in 2015, they were spending two hours and forty-eight minutes per day Click To Tweet.

Tech devices are distracting because they remind us of the world beyond the immediate conversation Click To Tweet In 2000, Microsoft Canada reported that the average human had an attention span of twelve seconds; by 2013 that number had fallen to eight seconds. Click To Tweet It isn’t the body falling in unrequited love with a dangerous drug, but rather the mind learning to associate any substance or behavior with relief from psychological pain. Click To Tweet

   Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Mean Genes Summary

Mean Genes SummaryFrom Sex to Money to Food: Taming Our Primal Instincts

All of these elements are unquestionably intertwined and putting them into one basket is suitable.

We turn our attention to improving our way of life, by understanding the instincts that are making a difference.

About Terry Burnham and Jay Phelan

Terry BurnhamTerry Burnham is a school and an ex-professor at Harvard’s Kennedy School.

Jay Phelan is also a professor, teaching biology at UCLA.

“Mean Genes Summary”

Our genetic predispositions have literally evolved side by side with our physical appearance. The environment that we live in adjusted to our needs, following the steps of evolution and technological enhancement.

Terry Burnham and Jay Phelan argue that the society has reached a boiling point where self-destructive behavior portrayed through recklessness, greed, adultery, and addiction is tolerated.

For instance, in the midst of crisis and madness, people are living in fear of rapid change. Such movement forces them to become indispensable members of a “fast-food nation.” Americans are aware of the consequences but continue with their practice.  

Mean Genes” teaches each and everyone how to overshadow the harmful genetic code by concealing surpluses. Retirement funds are filled with a financial portion deriving payroll deductions and other liquid assets.

The idea of hiding the money or putting at least 1/10 of the monthly earnings into a safe place, makes the consumption a lot harder. No one compels you to spend it right away unless some unforeseen situation prompts you to think otherwise.

The equity is equal to your spending habits, and if you don’t justify your actions, that financial surplus will quickly vanish. Just remember, money invested in equity securities or some low yield bonds, will not spoil, so you’ve got nothing to fear.

Let’s return to our “healthy” habits.

Whether we dare to admit it or not, there’s no a person in this world who isn’t enslaved by some unhealthy routine. It can be either expressed through words, drinks, or even drugs and alcohol. The brain embraces some extra adrenaline, which makes the outer reality more acceptable for a period of time.

Cocaine, for example, increases the level of the neurotransmitter dopamine and consequently stimulates a feeling of power, self-esteem, and pleasure.

One other situation worth analyzing is a lottery. People each day by lottery tickets without understanding that they have almost 0% of winning. What’s more hilarious –  we are allowed to choose the numbers – which have equal chances of winning.

Key Lessons from “Mean Genes

1.      What are we?
2.      Our furry friends are also talented
3.      Adultery at its finest

What are we?

In general, people can be both egoic and “altruistic” depending on the circumstances. Regarding our interests, we can evolve and shift from one place to another.

Such explanation challenges many theories and facts about human behavior.

Our furry friends are also talented

Many animals are excelling at some skills that humans find odd. For instance, the woodpecker has an impressive talent to calculate odds.

Other animals as well, distinguish from other species with some innate ability that others cannot carry out.

Adultery at its finest

One recently conducted study noted that at least 50% of the men from all around the world, and 25% of women indulge in extramarital affairs and sexual relationships.

Who is responsible for this lack of morality and knowledge about the sanctity of marriage? – The Mean Genes – of course.

Like this summary? We’d Like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Mean Genes” Quotes

As tough as our self-control battles are, we at least have a fighting chance. Click To Tweet Deep, long-term happiness does not come from material circumstances. Although acquiring money, TVs and cars make us happy, having them does not. Click To Tweet From a gene’s perspective, even a minor nuisance like death needn’t be an impediment to looking out for your relatives. Click To Tweet Beauty is as much in the gene of the beholder as in the eye. Click To Tweet Our brain, for better or worse, is not an obedient servant. It has a mind of its own. Click To Tweet

   Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF:   

Mojo Summary

Mojo SummaryHow to Get It, How to Keep It, and How to Get It Back If You Lose It

You are not born with “Mojo”: you need to earn it. Read on and learn how.

About Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter

Marshall GoldsmithMarshall Goldsmith is an author and a bestselling coach.

Mark Reiter is a collaborator on “Mojo” and is Goldsmith’s literary agent.

“Mojo Summary”

Mojo is a sign that you are doing something good. It is that factor X that other people recognize.

Mojo is being “in the zone” and having a “positive spirit toward what we are doing now that starts from the inside and radiates to the outside.”

This definition consists of a few elements which all carry their own meaning.

“Positive spirit”: recognizable “happiness and meaning.”

“Toward what we are doing”: this part connects to the meaning and joy that your activities provide.

“Now”: mojo exists in the present, not in the past or future.

“That starts from the inside”: if you have mojo, you know how to recognize it.

“And radiates to the outside”: you are not the only one that knows if you have mojo though. You emanate you that other people notice as well.

When you have mojo, you feel joy and happiness and your life has a deeper meaning.

People have two kinds of mojo: a personal and a professional one.

Now, you must be asking yourself if some people are just born with it, while others are “cursed” to never experience their mojo.

The answers to your questions are no and no.

You need to work on your mojo and develop it.

People are programmed to live mindlessly, without looking for meaning.

However, this way of functioning prevents people from growing and developing.

Building your mojo on the other side requires for the opposite: for a change and for patience and determination related to a goal.

To know what you are doing and if you are going back to your old patterns, use follow up, by analyzing your daily activities.

The analysis consists of two questions related to meaning and happiness.

You need to ask yourself what the activity delivers in the long term, and how much happiness it provides at the moment.

Once you get used to evaluating your day’s tasks and events for these two variables, you will naturally move toward a point where these activities are more optimized.

Key Lessons from “Mojo”

1.      The Four Parts of Your Mojo
2.      “The Mojo Scorecard”
3.      “Your Mojo Toolkit”

The Four Parts of Your Mojo

  • Identity
  • Achievement
  • Reputation
  • Acceptance

“The Mojo Scorecard”

  • “Motivation”
  • “Knowledge”
  • “Ability”
  • “Confidence”
  • “Authenticity”
  • “Happiness”
  • “Reward”
  • “Meaning”
  • “Learning”
  • “Gratitude”

“Your Mojo Toolkit”

  • “Establish criteria that matter to you.”
  • “Find out where you are living.”
  • “Be the optimist in the room.”
  • “Take away one thing.”
  • “Rebuild one brick at a time.”
  • “Live your mission in the small moments, too.”
  • “Swim in the blue water.”
  • “When to stay, when to go.”
  • “Hello, good-bye.”
  • “Adopt a metrics system.”
  • “Reduce” the time you waste
  • “Influence up as well as down.”
  • “Name it, frame it, claim it.”
  • “Give your friends a lifetime pass.”

Like this summary? We’d Like to invite you to download our free 12 min app, for more amazing summaries and audiobooks.

“Mojo” Quotes

Mojo is, -That positive spirit toward what we are doing now, that starts from the inside and radiates to the outside. Click To Tweet Improvement is hard. If it were easy, we’d already be better. Click To Tweet The most reliable predictor of what you will be doing five minutes from now is what you are doing now. Click To Tweet Many successful people have a tendency to overestimate their strengths and underestimate their weaknesses. Click To Tweet When we are measuring our Mojo, we do so in the immediate present, not in the recent past or vague future. Click To Tweet

   Take this summary with you and read anywhere! Download PDF: